RP to Straighten out your Thoughts

Good morning, fuzzbutts!

Sorry for the late update. It’s been pretty busy lately with a sick doggo, fumigating the home, yard work and painting. It’s been super productive but I let myself be late with this post. The good news is I got a lot of stuff done and learned a bit more about my goals and what I want to do.

Speaking of sorting things out, I’ve been trying a new technique to get myself out of my own way. If you’re not the biggest fan of journaling to write down everything and sort yourself out, you might want to try running through some roleplay in your head instead.

To do this, close your eyes and imagine your fursona feeling the way you do right now. Then, place them in a situation that can be similar to your own. Then it’s time for you to picture and imagine how they would deal with it or have them talk out whatever is going on with another fursona. Here’s an example where I felt like something was wrong but couldn’t figure out why:

Kulkun, a wuff, is pouring over notes on his desk at the lab. He looks bored, or maybe unhappily busy. Everything is quiet in the office until Kaliki, a rabbit, walks into the office with a stack of papers and drops the heavy stack onto another table. She seems frustrated or maybe a little irritated.

“Am I screwing up? I feel like I screwing up something.” Kulkun asks, still staring at a page of notes. Kaliki sighs and turns toward Kulkun.

“You’re not screwing up anything in particular. You’re just not doing the things we should be doing.” Kaliki responds. “You’ve been picking too many projects and a lot of them aren’t even what we started all this for. The dye project isn’t even worth it.”

“The dye cost me enough money I don’t want to abandon the project. It’ll get finished soon.”

“Soon? You’re not working on it, though. You need to either dump it or finish it so we can get to work on something else. That dye program is eating way too much time and causing us a lot of trouble. You don’t work on it because you don’t want to. We need to get back on track.”

“Look, it was expensive and we can still make the money back and then some. So we should work on it and get it done.” Kulkun says stubbornly, standing up. Kaliki folds her arms across her chest, one ear perking up.

“So when? We have to get focused.”

“Now. Every day until we get it done. I’m sorry for not focusing on this and putting you through this. We really should get back to having fun and enjoying the work we do.” Kulkun says, speaking with a bit more resolve. Kaliki perks up a little bit, both of their moods improving.

“Ok. Let’s do it.”

Alright so that was useful and let’s review. I felt like something was wrong. I couldn’t really pinpoint it. Both of my characters were feeling the same thing but by asking Kaliki, the overall issue of “I’m doing too many things” surfaced with one in particular standing out as a bad project. In my real life case, it was making tails for extra cash. There’s resistance to dropping it from my life because I threw so much money into it (Sunk-cost fallacy of throwing good time and money after bad. I’ve discussed this concept in the past). Still, I confronted the fact it’s not a good thing to work on and that I haven’t been seriously trying to get it done, letting it bother me instead. In the end, I realized I need to get focused and spend time every day on it to finish it. I entered this exercise just feeling like something was wrong or I was doing something wrong and came out of it with a plan!

Give this a shot to address how you feel or how you need to approach something or to approach your mood and why you feel certain ways. I haven’t decided if this is more effective than journaling but it’s definitely a bit more fun!

Good luck, fuzzbutts!

Silence the Negative Voices

Good morning fuzzbutts!

If you’ve been around here for a little while, you probably have a couple of good goals set up for yourself. You started putting in the work, pushing yourself to get those goals. You probably told some people, feeling pretty proud. They might have been happy for you. Then again, maybe they tried to talk you out of it.

Today I want you to protect your goals and dreams. There will be a million excuses to stop, sometimes all told to you by one or two of your friends and family. If you’re not careful, your big dream will become “too big” for you. People might mean well but they don’t know your life or hopes as well as you do.

So what happens when the outside world tries to “help” you by killing your dream? You cut them off from it. Don’t bring it up to them, don’t talk about your dreams to them, and don’t let them bring it up either. They might even ask you to settle on your dream. You don’t have to lose 50 lbs, you already did 20 lbs and you look great! No. You set your real goal already. Keep up the good work and keep the goal in your heart.

Watch your own inner voice too. When things get hard, you might go back to your default excuse of missing out on time or doubting your ability. I’ve heard so many people make excuses to avoid their dream job, as if it takes luck more than anything. One example is a non-fuzzbutt friend of mine wants to play guitar covers for recording studios. I’m not personally clear or what exactly it is. They make good money and it’s super fun, he says. “Why don’t you do it?”, I ask. “Well I need to learn sheet music and it’s about who you know.” is their excuse. So what? Sheet music isn’t so crazy once you get started, you know how to play guitar, and if it’s about who you know then try to meet those people. But nope! This guy has let his inner voice convince himself that his dream is impossible. It doesn’t matter that other people are living that dream and they had to learn sheet music and make connections. It’s impossible.

Don’t do that. You can do the thing. There’s no good reason to NOT pursue your dreams. If you put in the effort, you’ll run into some hurdles but you can overcome them as long as you stay on track and diligent. Don’t let anyone, least of all yourself, talk you out of your dreams or let you think you can’t really do it. You don’t have 1000 years to get your head in the game so let’s get moving!

Good luck out there, fuzzbutts!

Being Pawsitive!

Good morning Fuzzbutts!

One thing I keep seeing furries do on social media like Twitter or Ferzu, is furries just begging for compliments, posting about how depressed or lonely they are, or even going as far as to wonder aloud to a bunch of strangers whether anyone would notice if they were gone. I swear my head wants to slam on the desk every time I see these posts. It’s not unexpected- we’re a huge bunch of social misfits who dress up in animal costumes to have fun! Still, don’t publicize your negative mood and expect anything other than pity responses to help you feel better. Pity responses help you feel better until you reach the end of the response. Then you’re back to waiting for other pity posts. Worse, if nobody responds to it, you end up making yourself feel even more badly!

I don’t recall anyone I’ve met and had a good, lasting relationship with so long as I was sad or seeking attention by being negative. I haven’t seen anyone create strong bonds through it either. We’ve got to do a better job of presenting ourselves in a positive light if we want to attract the best people. So how do we get out of a bad funk that isn’t an actual chemical imbalance?

Help people! Not just other furries but anyone. You need to find a way to be positive. For all those “Would anyone notice if I’m gone?” posts I see, I silently ask “Well do you do anything that others will remember you? Why would they notice if you’re gone if you spend your life living in your head? Why is it so important to be remembered anyway so long as YOU know you’re doing something important?”

Find a charitable cause you support and toss a small gift to them. Doesn’t have to be a huge gift. Also give it somewhere it will be appreciated. I’ve met fuzzbutts who just want hand-outs and then don’t appreciate what they receive, if anything. I donate toys or cash to a children’s hospital where the proceeds go to buying supplies and toys for kids who may be at the lowest point of their lives. I’ve never met a single child there (medical privacy and all) but I know those kids need some help after all the times going into there and find the donation bin was empty until I showed up.

Sadly, not everyone will be in the right frame of mind when you’re trying to help. Learn to recognize when people genuinely want help or when they just want to complain. The former is somebody to interact with while the latter will drag you down. Protect yourself from the drainers and meet the great fuzzbutts in the fandom.

I’ve met more cool people in this fandom by being a “cool dude” according to them, being a positive and optimistic person. I like to start by believing the best in the new people I meet and keep habits in my life that focus on others and trying to be helpful. Whenever I feel bad, I don’t post it for the world to see unless I’m also posting a solution to the problem. If you want to improve your life and feel better, start reaching out more in service of others and not to beg. You’ll feel better and more productive with your life!

Good luck fuzzbutts!

When Things Get Frustrating

Hello fuzzbutts!

How did it go this week for you? Pretty good? Did it drag on and on and on? Desperate for the weekend? What about your work? Has the fire gone out and you’re just rolling with the flow while being bored or just hating it? How about anything else like these drawing habits I’m trying to build? You just sit there, despising it but unable to make a change. You need that job! You need that income! Maybe it’s not even that there’s anything in particular to hate about your job but you’re just bored now.

It can be very frustrating to feel this way in your day-to-day life. The fire just… went out. Now you’re miserable and just there.

When this happens, it’s important to find meaning in what you’re doing. I work in a lab and now I handle the operations side of things. I don’t go into the lab anymore to do all the sample prep or even analyze the data. It drove me crazy for a while since now my job went from being active and walking around to just sitting at my desk and sending tons of emails to coworkers or vendors. However, that ended when I decided to focus on my new purpose and why it was important. My job is to ensure everyone else can get their jobs done. I go from my own little bubble or preparing stuff to actually helping my coworkers do better. I also get to call the shots on how to arrange things in our laboratory now. Anything that can be done to optimize somebody’s work or the space? Boom. That’s this wuff’s call now. Sure it can feel a bit slow as I wait for emails or for other people to make certain big budget decisions but it’s still fun.

Your job has a meaning to it. If not some nebulous great reason in the universe, then remember you go to that job to fund *blank* or so you can get *blank* job later. If you can’t do it, then maybe start looking around for something else.

I get that I used a job as an example but this still applies to new habits you want to cultivate. Remind yourself why you’re working on this habit and why it’s important to you. Remind yourself why you’re building new skills!

Good luck, fuzzbutts!

Wednesday Tailtip: Assess every bit of your health

Good morning fuzzbutts!

As a quick tip today, look at yourself and the areas of your life that could get better. Not sleeping well, look up ways from articles on how to sleep better. Maybe you’re missing something like you need to keep the curtains closed! Waking up with a sour taste in your mouth? Acid reflux might be doing that and that will also affect your sleep so get it under control.

Get sad at certain moments? Look at your brain and maybe feel out what the triggers are. I noticed I can wake up pretty depressed but it’s usually because my sleep quality that night was so terrible.

There’s lots of small chronic things that seem so small and minor that we just feel that’s normal. It’s probably not, though! So try to catch areas of your health and look up the symptoms to see if anyone else has come across it. It’s up to you to realistically assess whether it’s an issue with mouth-breathing or if you have cancer (You probably don’t have cancer so at least try the other solutions first).

Fitness and Your Fursona

Hello Fuzzbutts!

This time around, I’m going to touch on a sore spot for many furries. As I write this, I feel some tension rising up. Anyway, there’s been a pretty negative stereotype surrounding furries (among many) and that is our fitness. Fine, we’re not alone among fandoms that have a reputation for being husky. I’m still talking about physical size, not the perfect fursona (ahem!).

“Hey Wuffles! It’s shallow to talk about physical appearance!” somebody yells from the audience in the dark. I agree that physical looks aren’t everything when it comes to many aspects of life. However, in a fandom where most tend to represent themselves as supermodel fuzzbutt versions of themselves, it’s still worth bringing up.

I want you to be healthy.

I’m emphasizing that. Also, being more healthy leads to more productivity! There’s all kinds of benefits to being healthy: more overall energy, better sleep, reduced stress, blah blah. You can see how those effects would also help you pursue your goals and make you more productive. You know these things. You’ve been hit over the head with it in the media and from others. For whatever reason, most furries don’t do a great job taking care of themselves for the sake of personal health and the listed benefits. So I want to propose a new idea.

Become your fursona.

“Uhh… my fursona is an anthropomorphic purple cat.” you say, considering what my angle is. Well of course you’re not going to become a cat. However, what is your fursona’s body type compared to yours? Is your fursona  svelte, athletic, maybe even a body builder while your own body is doughy or borderline obese? Treat your fursona as the ideal you can become rather than as an escape from daily life. You made your fursona the way you did because there was something in them you wanted to be, starting from personality and right down to their physical traits (maybe vice versa). You may not be able to become your fursona exactly, but you can bring yourself closer. Plan a goal around becoming your fursona.

Start light.

Changing your mindset about your fursona will help you begin a new journey. You may want to rush out the door and go full beast mode at the gym or on a trail. If you haven’t been working out, start slow. I’ve used a machine that worked my inner thighs (think thigh master-style) and it felt fine and I crushed it. For the next few days, I walked funny and was dreadfully sore. Don’t do that. Start easy on yourself, get an understanding of your body, and then build yourself up. You’ll feel better, you’ll have more energy, and you’ll be working toward your goals of becoming the best YOU that you can be.

Get a friend who will support you or maybe even join you on your workouts. I wasn’t too serious about working out until I started going with a friend. This may be another friend test too. Beware of those “friends” who might try to talk you out of improving your health and overall life. I’ve never met anyone who told their true friends that getting healthier was unnecessary. Don’t let anyone hold you back from making yourself a better fuzzbutt.

I hope this was inspiring and helpful to you. I truly wish for the best in your daily lives. Good luck out there, Fuzzbutts!